i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
It's shark week go big or go home
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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