In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
