i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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