pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
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