so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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