I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
He kissed a someone with a penis
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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