they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
