my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
