All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
