i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
