I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
