I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
