Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Randomize
