I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
