Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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