He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
