If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
