He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
