Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Randomize
