RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Randomize
