feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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