She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
