What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Randomize
