Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
