what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
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