There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
