Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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