ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
