but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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