Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Randomize
