I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I have tasted many bathrooms
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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