I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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