I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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