he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
