Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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