i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
