I must be too annoying 4 u.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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