I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Even the bartender felt bad for me
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
