so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
even my farts smell like vagina
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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