i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
