so that wasnt chicken after all
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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