JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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