I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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