True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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