It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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