just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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