If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
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