Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
The uberlube is also flammable
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Randomize
