I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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