well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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