We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
