So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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