I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Is it penis luge time yet?
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Randomize
