Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
