There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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